Friday, December 26, 2008

The Founding of the Church of Gay

By AndyS in Colorado, Daily Kos

This will be a church and a religion with the following precepts (and ONLY the following precepts):

  1. "Sexual orientation is OK" -- to the Church of Gay, being gay (or straight, or
    bi, or just not interested, for that matter) is ok, and any
    disagreement with the above precept is sacrilege and heresy.
  1. The individual choice of marriage between any two consenting non-related
    adults is Holy. Those partaking of the Act are, by definition, Holy in
    the eyes of the Church of Gay.
  1. Discrimination or treating societally differently any person on the grounds of sexual
    orientation in any manner is an abomination.
  1. The existence or non-existence of a creator is beyond the bounds of Church of Gay philosophy.

First, we can demand immediate tax exempt status for all activities of the Church of Gay as any other Church.

And, any funds disbursed for public referenda on gay rights would be tax exempt to the extent that such similar activities of the Mormon, Catholic, or any other Churches, would also be tax exempt for the Church of Gay.

That's right -- your taxpayer funds will be used to fund our activities in overturning all laws contrary to our religious precepts. That's the way it is, and too bad for you. We will of course abide by non-endorsement-of-candidate IRS guidelines. The fact that in many cases this doesn't matter very much if we still bad-mouth candidates who believe in things contrary to our position is, again, too bad for you.

Secondarily, the State forbidding or interfering in any manner with the marriage of any two consenting non-related adults, along with all the legal rights attendent therefrom is heresy and an abomination to our church.

The state therefore would be restricting our freedom of religion to prohibit any civil marriage covered under Church of Gay religious law. Our First Amendment right to freedom of religion, you see, trumps every other right.

And, yes, any disagreement with our religious precepts is religious bigotry.

We demand in addition, chaplains for our religious philosophy furnished and paid for by the military for all military personnel here in the United States or overseas.

Happy Festivus, all you heathens!

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